Pictures from my last day in Nashville. We decided to do breakfast, southern style, and drove to the Loveless Cafe for the true experience. Breakfast was amazing. I had an omelet, and the best biscuits you've ever tasted, with homemade preserves. It was a lot of fun. Then Richard bought a moonpie and an RC cola, which are apparently southern staples, and we drove out to this bridge on the Natchez Trace, or something to that affect. There were two couples there on vacation together, and they offered to take our picture. This one is my favorite.
Also, tonight we went to the Taste of Tacoma. Here's a picture of Joe and I. I'm mainly blogging it because he said he looked like a dork. I think he looks quite cute.
Even though she is outrageously power crazy and kind of devious, hold the kind of, I kind of think she rocks. And when people try to bring her down, I'm like dude. That's Anne Boleyn. No bueno, dudes. No bueno.
I don't know why I like to watch movies about queens being beheaded. Weird.
So I liked this movie more than I thought I would. That is all.
Except that Jim Sturgess and Erik Bana are hot.
That's all for reals. ;P
My word have I been irritable for the last 24 hours. It's due to a combination of medication reasons, and hopefully won't last much longer, but I've spent the day hiding out, so as not to alienate anyone more than I maybe already have!
It's not been a bad thing, hiding out in the bedroom. I have quite a scratchy throat, the beginnings of some form of sick that I seem to have caught in Nashville. Yay... a souvenir. It's been a lazy sort of sick day.
My mom is coming over tonight when she gets off work. I got the order form for my commencement pictures. I can't afford to purchase any, but I wanted to give her the opportunity.
I am feeling positively girly, and am lying on the couch, in a mostly empty house (the "children" are here) watching The Other Boleyn Girl. Angela, I opened up the envelope because I hadn't watched it yet. I'll seal it when I'm done. Anyway, I've heard very mixed reviews from many people, and I'm not sure how I am going to feel about it. I heart Eric Bana.
My brain is bugging me today, and this movie might be making me angry.
I love vacations. They should last forever. I got home very early this morning, and I am tired, and it seems as if all the mundane crap that was going on has just intensified.
Things with a friend have gotten weird again. She came by the house today, and left pretty abruptly.
I'm discouraged at basically having to jump back in to the whole job search full force again. I got a phone call from the last woman I interviewed with, telling me that she was hiring someone else. So I have basically no prospects, and have to start from scratch. I hear that this is very common among new graduates, so I am trying not to be too stressed, while remaining motivated. Finding a job sucks.
I'm typing this up from my mom's house in Gig Harbor, while I wait for a phone call. I got some disconcerting news earlier today, and I'm waiting for a phone call to resolve it. Sorry to be so vague, but I feel as if it is disrespectful to discuss the details here. Suffice it to say, though, I'm stressed and impatient. I have to work on that, I suppose. It's all about the personal growth.
I have mixed feelings about being home. It's good to see everyone. Joe is so excited that I am home. He and Chris are coming over for the night after I deal with the drama that needs dealing with. I don't know what the plan is. The house needs cleaning, and I'm still really worn out, so it's hard to match their excitement, but I am glad to see everyone. I miss Tennessee, though. It's like nowhere else I've ever been. I loved it. I can't wait to go back and see more. And, of course, I miss Richard.
I want a PS2. I want to bring my karaoke games over to the house, but I'd have nothing to play them on. Give me something to do while Angela's at work.
Oh well, off to apply for some jobs online, and read some more of The Dharma Bums. I have pictures from the last two days of my trip, but I'll probably post those tomorrow. I'm just too tired for words right now.
Today was such a relaxing day! Richard worked today from 7:30 I think to 4ish, and I stayed here at the apartment. I woke up at 9:30, and went down to the pool for a swim. There was no one there, which was awesome, as I was able to just relax. An older guy showed up eventually, and he was so much fun to talk with. He was giving me excellent ideas of free things to do in the area.
I also took Chloe for two walks, and let her loose in the dog play area. That was a lot of fun, both for me and her!
I watched some episodes of The Office and cleaned like crazy before taking a little nap.
When Richard got home we went out to Bosco's, a restaurant where he goes every Monday to have drinks. We had some beer, and I met tons of his friends there, which was a lot of fun. Lol, there was a guy there who saw us come in together, and moved down a stool so we could sit together, but then while Richard was talking to the guy on his other side, this guy started trying to flirt with me. So strange....
Yesterday we drove past a White Castle, and I mentioned that I hadn't realized they were real. I just thought it was a movie thing. Richard thought that was so hilarious, and made me go there for dinner tonight. I didn't know what to get, so Richard explained to the coworkers I'd never been there, and I said I wanted fries and a drink, and they figured it all out for me. The boys working there were so cute. The food actually wasn't terrible, for fast food. I think it's because there's hardly any meat on them! (Apparently it is impossible to be a vegetarian in the south, but I'm trying so hard!)
Then we drove out to Opryland, which is the hotel by the Grand Ole Opry. The atrium is gorgeous, full of plants, and a myriad of walkways with benches and waterfalls and restaurants. It would be a gorgeous place to stay! I got one good picture of one of the waterfalls.
Richard took a lot of other pictures, and some look like they'll turn out pretty good!
The Office makes me uncomfortable. The British one. I've never seen the other one.
Well, there was a lot of drama this morning (not bad, just time consuming) that caused us to have to make a last minute change in plans. Instead of going to the Jack Daniels Distillery we stayed closer and did some hiking instead. We went to two different lakes and hiked a total of 4 miles.
The first lake we went to was Percy Priest Lake. 
Then we went to Radnor Lake for the last part of our total of four miles hike.
I felt less like taking pictures at the second place. After we left Radnor Lake we went to a BBQ restaurant, where I certainly did not try any of Richard's pulled pork, if you are reading this Angela! :) Actually, I had a bite of pork, but my dinner was black beans and grilled vegetables on rice. It was so good. There was so much food I had to bring most of it back. Then we drove to the dragon mosaic park. 
This last picture was of the handicapped children's swings at the park. I thought these were so sweet!
Now we are having a quiet evening at home, watching Pulp Fiction and eating ice cream sandwiches. Richard works tomorrow, so I am probably going to ride down town with him and then just walk around, kill time, listen to music, read some books, learn some countries and capitals while he works his 9 hour day. Depends on if I feel like waking up, lol.
I was so excited tonight to get out and explore part of the nightlife of Nashville. We went downtown, basically to the same places we went to yesterday. It was so pretty at night, though, and really vibrant with life. We met Richard's friend at Big River rewing Company, a bar that brews it's own beer. Apparently that is all that is necessary for Richard to be a fan of something! We had a couple of drinks, and then went for a walk down to Riverfront Park and we walked across the Shelby Street Bridge, which I posted a picture of awhile back. 
Richard took this picture of the Nashville skyline
as well as this picture of Shelby Street Bridge.
We walked past the symphony hall, which was prettier at night, surrounded by all the fountains, and then said goodbye to his friends. I needed a restroom, so we walked across the street to the Hilton. We rode the glass elevators up to the tenth floor, and I apparently developed Vertigo as I leaned over the edge of the rails. Richard had to take this for me as well, because I was too big of a wuss to lean over and do it myself.
Then, while we were walking in the direction of the car, Richard pulled me into this small bar to hear a band that was playing. This band was AMAZING. They are called the Dempseys, and they are from Memphis, TN. I was so engaged. They were fantastic. Richard took some more pics for me, cause he's taller. You can see, even in the pictures, how much energy they exuded! 
The coolest thing, though, was that while we were watching the Dempseys, Richard noticed a minor celebrity weaving his way through the crowd. Who, you ask?
Only Abe Lincoln, former president and early leader of the civil rights movement! This guy was my hero.
Tomorrow we are driving down to Lynchburg, TN to take a tour of the Jack Daniels Distillery. That should be a lot of fun. We are also stopping at a "rustic" state park that I can not remember the name of. I am hoping for the chance to do more swimming!
Today was a much slower day than yesterday! We spent some time at the farmer's market, and wandering around Whole Foods. There is this store next to Whole Foods that is all body stuff, and I got the most amazing soap. It smells like Mexican Lime and Bergamot. It was a bazillion degrees out, and we came back home after a couple of hours for lunch. After lunch, I did Richard's hair, while he worked on his computer. It turned out rad:
Then I went for a walk while he finished computer stuff. I wanted to go swimming so badly today, and was super excited when I got a text message from Richard telling me to come back because he had a swimming idea. We drove out to a park with Chloe, Richard's dog, and found a creek to play in.
Richard explained the idea behind swimming to Chloe
who eventually fell in love with it!
We went for a little bit of a drive, and came back for dinner, and now we are on our way out the door. Have a good night, y'all!
This day started with a trip to Dunn Brother's Coffee, where I waited while Richard ran up to his office to fill out his time cards. It was really cool. Very quiet, but there was a duo playing music in the corner, and selling there own cds. Richard came to join me, and promptly spilled his coffee all over himself!
Poor guy burned his stomach, and looked like he peed himself. We walked on down to Riverfront Park so he could dry off, and I could see some of the sights. Here's a picture of a pedestrian bridge, with some weird urban art in the background.
Richard and I make faces....
Also, I think it's funny that the one street actually turns into the other.
As we kept walking, we found ourselves at the Capitol Building, which was so awesome to see.
We took a tour inside, and it was awesome to see portraits and busts of so many famous historical figures. Richard took this picture of me with Andrew Jackson. I always loved him as a kid, 'cause he had freaky hair. 
I got to go into the Legislative Lounge, which used to be the old state library. In addition to more portraits and busts, it had this amazing staircase, and all these books that documented the senate sessions word for word. It was super cool.
Outside we saw the tomb for former president Andrew Polk. I always think stuff like this is so cool. Can you believe that the actual body (well, bones I guess) of Andrew Polk is in there?
Also, I just really like this picture of Richard. I was too tired to stand up when I took it.
We stopped for some icecream, and I totally got a kick out of this sign! We are in the South, after all.
Finally, Richard snagged this picture of me, because apparently THE touristy thing to do is wear a cowboy hat in Nashville!
There were some more pictures, but they are on Richard's fancy camera, and are probably better than mine! When I get those I'll post some. Now, though, I have to get changed to go out in a couple of hours.
Photo Essay of my first full day in Nashville.
Thursday, June 19, 2008 | Classifications:: Pictures, VacationsSo I still have a hard time believing that I am in Tennessee. It looks so totally different than Washington or California, but in a really subtle way. The heat is pretty difficult. All of you people from the south probably think I'm being a baby, but man. I am from Washington. It's cold up there. It rained last week!
Anyway, I'm here now. We went to the Mall at Green Hills this morning, so I could see how the rich people live. I beelined for the Louis Vuitton store the minute we went inside, and found the most gorgeous purple purse. Richard is a good sport, and humored me in LV, and Coach also. I found the teal purse from the Coach store in Portland, and so that love affair was rekindled. I began to get very nauseous, disoriented and incredibly lethargic, and ended up calling Angela because I was worried about Lithium Toxicity. After much water though, I felt better.
We went to Richard's apartment for lunch (PB&J), and then got ready to go out and do something. We went to Centennial Park to see the Parthenon and take some pictures. 
This is the Parthenon in Nashville, Tennessee. It's better than the real one, because it's not broken. (I'm so kidding there.)
Richard takes pictures. It's what he does.
Adina, it's a fish por toi!
Finally, family, here I am. Proof that as of today at least, I am alive. :P
What am I even doing here? I'm not sure.
The weather is beautiful, and the environment is so subtly different from anywhere I've ever lived. I can't quite wrap my head around the idea that I'm in Tennessee. So strange.
I just don't really known what my purpose here is. I don't know what this person wants. If anything.
So I guess I just ignore everything else, have a great vacation, and cross my fingers that I don't get hurt.
For some reason, I think I might.
Graduation Pictures
Sunday, June 15, 2008 | Classifications:: Commencement, Family, Friends, Pictures
Here's a copy of my program, taken by my stepmom, Rhonda. I didn't realize that the University of Washington had been around for so long! So many people saved their programs because they were afraid I wouldn't get one. I think Angela and I have three lying around our house! I thought the gesture was so sweet.
My Dad, Chris and I after Commencement ended. Still at the Tacoma Dome, surrounded by masses of people.
We added Angela and Dana to this picture. I call it my entourage. Angela, in case you don't remember from all the other pictures I post of my friends, is the one dressed like a hippie entirely in clothing that is currently or was at one point my own. Dana is the one dressed as if she belongs in an Audrey Hepburn movie, the little diva. I'm the one whose face gains 80 lbs just by laughing.
My mom left before I could get pictures with her in my cap and gown at the Dome, so I had to wait until she came to pick us up for dinner. She brought me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. Also, she bought my graduation dress and heels, which I know you can't see. Trust me though, they are CUTE!
I feel overwhelmed. I can't believe it's over. Seven years I have been working on this. On my mom's side of the family I am the first grandkid to graduate college. Among my siblings I am the first to graduate college.
Today I became an alumni of the University of Washington.
It kind of blows my mind.
I feel like I have been so stressed lately, like I have seven years of exhaustion. Now I need to find a job, but also perform some self care. I need to renew my spirit.
Parts of today were amazing, and parts were less than. I went to lunch with my dad and step mom, Angela, Dana and my brother Chris. It was stressful, until it finally wasn't, and we had a good lunch. Apparently at Red Robin you can substitute any burger with a Boca burger, which made it a lot easier for us girls to eat there. They had a really cute "social work briefcase" from Della Q. It's soft, and bright, and perfect for the place I'm hoping to get hired.
I was very tired, and heart hurt because my mom left before I got to see her. It's personal, don't want to get into it, but she and I were both heartsick over it.
Dinner was with my mom, Angela, Chris, Joe, my grandma, and Joe's brother Geoff, who is in town for awhile. We went to Mexican, and two margaritas later I felt much less stressed.
The ceremony was so good. While we were lining up backstage my professor/faculty adviser came up to talk to me. She was very teary eyed, super choked up, as she told me how good I did on my final, and how it was proof that once I get past the bipolar, I am so capable. She had written me an email earlier this week, and she asked me to keep it as a reminder of what I can do. And when I was onstage shaking the hand of the interim program director, he took my hand with both of his, and told me how well I did, and that he was proud of me. I was so touched by both of them.
Also my cousin Geoff, who told me how proud he was. He told me he doesn't often say that about his brothers and sisters because he always thinks he could've done it better. But he told me there was no way he could have done this better. That made me feel so good.
Joe gave me the best present, a very beautiful necklace. It's very beachy looking. I love it.
Tomorrow the family is going to Seattle. I practically live in Seattle anymore! Geoff is staying here at our house tonight, which is fun. We are watching Where the Red Fern Grows. I'd never seen it before. But I am tired and ready for sleep. Hope you all have a wonderful night (morning?)
So Olivia, my laptop, has taken to sucking quite profusely lately. It's got me worried. I've got sticky keys, and pages take days to load, and she makes a scary noise if I tilt her to any side at all. Scary business. I am far too broke to buy a new laptop.
But if I do, I want a Mac.
I've started swearing a lot as of late. I'm not sure what's crawled up my bum, but I'm sure many folks, my mother included, find my increase in vulgarity offensive. It's cool, I would, too, if it weren't coming out of my mouth.
The soundtrack of my life at this present moment is the sound of the Tennessee wind rushing by as Richard drives home from work. I have him on speaker phone, because then I can put the phone on my chest and have both my hands free. Most people buy a headset. I have a pair of 38DDs.
Yeah, I went there.
I'm feeling restless. My mom described it well on Monday. I'm restless, but as soon as I get to where I'm going I want to be somewhere else.
Maybe I want to go to Wright Park and take pictures. Maybe Angela wants to go with me. I'm eager to be somewhere else.
I graduate tomorrow at 10am, PST. I leave for Nashville on Wednesday. I'm nervous and excited.
I'm not even saying anything worth saying anymore. Peace out, peoples.
Here's a little preview of what y'all would be seeing if you were here on Friday!
On 6/9/08, Katie wrote:
i miss you when you are at work.
i hate that i can't leave comments on your page.
i feel as if i may die, actually DIE, of nervousness for tomorrow.
interpersonal violence in society is depressing.
have i mentioned i miss you when you are at work?
why won't klondike stop humping jake? i think he has a disorder of some kind.
i hate my teacher.
and also i miss you.
i started making pie dough, but then i lost the motivation, so i'm going to refrigerate it and maybe i'll finish later.
fucking final.
i miss your face, crazy.
have fun at work, pal.
richard thinks you have a crush on me. it makes me laugh. you know, because i have a crush on you, too.
if you were here we would be watching lost.
i miss you. (hehe, i sound like a stalker!)
On 6/9/08, Angela wrote:
weirdo.
why where my dogs in your room?
doogie humps jake because jake is a handsome male. and because your dog is a flaming homosexual.
sorry but i added to the mess. i had ambition to clean it for about 1/2 a second then i said "fuck this" and decided to email you then pass out instead.
don't forget we're going to walk the UP trail thing or whatever tomorrow. and wednesday. and thursday... and friday...and watch lost in between.
i'll probably be up by the time you get out of your review later today, so give me a call and let me know how you did.
ok i'm gonna go pass out now.
oh, and tell your dog to stop making sexual advances towards my dog. and to stop peeing in the house!
On 6/9/08, Katie wrote:
don't judge me.
i heard noises outside last night, and the dogs did the scary bark. i decided it would be a shame if i missed my review because i was raped and pillaged, so i let them sleep with me instead. it was cozy. i think that's cause i have a bigger bed than you.
he's not a flaming homosexual. he was going to town on bella last night at my mom's. yeah he was.
have you SEEN jude lately? he's so cute i could vomit profusely.
my skin is so dry it feels like it's about to crack in many places. yuck.
i think i may blog this email conversation to relieve my nervousness.
i should also stop emailing and start getting ready. i'm trying to find an outfit that is the perfect balance between i'm a professional, and i'm fucking crazy. got any ideas?
fuck this.
On 6/9/08, Angela wrote:
honeychild is just confused because bella has a moustache.
I just stapled my last two projects for school, all set to turn in to my professor tomorrow. It's in God's hands now.
Or you know, Tom, Roseann, etc. from the UWT social work program.
Tomorrow is a very big day for me. I kind of want to scream. I feel very anxious, and I'm not happy about it.
I wish I could just be happy and feel accomplished. Instead I feel like an ass.
Basically, (now she's ready to talk about it...) I had a bipolar episode, as I mentioned earlier, that landed me in the ER on Thursday night. I ended up leaving my last class very early on Wednesday because I was mixed, and having a panic attack, and trying to find a doctor who would refill my prescriptions to tide me over until I can get in with Community Healthcare in July. Now I have to have a review to apparently determine my graduation status.
Now that I'm atarting to feel better? I wish I'd stayed and gone to class. But at the time was it that simple? No. And I'm so tired of this brain of mine. Oftentimes it's more than I can stand.
So everybody, please wish me luck, ok? Because if I don't finish after all this hard work? I really don't know if I can take that.
The progress is slow. I feel like a child. I felt like a child Thursday night in the ER, with Angela holding my hand (figuratively, not literally. I'm not that big a baby!) the whole time. And then we came home and I slept. I slept until after noon. I think Richard might have called in the morning, so I woke up to talk to him, but then I slept until noon.
Dana called me, and I haven't gotten enough of her lately, so I answered, even though all I wanted to do was sleep. Her battery had died, so I drove out to her apartment to give her a jump. She had a tanning appointment, so I tagged along, because I miss her so. We grabbed a coffee and she dropped me off at my car.
I was tired. I wanted to sleep. I had a doctor's appointment instead. I went to Planned Parenthood, got onto their Take Charge program because I am uninsured, and grabbed a copy of The Stranger on my way out the door.
I wanted a nap. But Joe came over, and I had promised to take him to a Raniers game. When we got to Cheney Stadium the game had been rained out, and I was relieved. We grabbed dinner, and then came home. The house was a mess. Joe wanted to make pie dough. He wanted to play a board game. He wanted to watch Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I had a paper to write.
Instead I slept. I slept late. Joe and I had a BBQ to attend at 10am. I slept till almost noon. We went to the BBQ anyway, and I saw people from my internship who I had really missed. It started to rain, and we left.
Joe wanted to watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I slept. Geoff took Joe to the game tonight, and I stayed home. But my grandma showed up with other plans. So I flat ironed my hair. I took off my UW sweats and the I Support tshirt I'd been wearing for days and put on jeans and an Aeropostale hoodie. I put on foundation, but gave up after that.
My grandma wanted to go to the mall after we ate, but I wanted my sweats again. But when I got home, the house was a mess! Angela's working all weekend, and I'm just lying here like an idiot! So I cleaned the whole damn thing. It looks good. And I finished my paper.
I have to work tomorrow, and I don't feel like I am ready, but we do what we have to, and hey, it's better to spend the day helping others who really need it than sleeping right? Because this? This can't go on forever.
I am so tired that I don't even know what to do with myself. I spent all day yesterday sedated and asleep, and my roommate took me to the ER last night to get my levels checked, because something was obviously wrong. My lithium level was at .3, and it is supposed to be between .5 and 1.5, so I was low. I knew I was. I've felt mixed for about three weeks now. I thought I could control it, though, until I got a job and new insurance. I was wrong.
I'm having problems with school. I don't feel like talking about them here. I am not ready to deal with anything yet. So instead I'm forging on, working on my final projects for my last two classes, and trying not to accidentally overdose on Klonopin.
That really was a joke, I so totally swear. I'm not going to kill myself. I'm totally willing to contract for safety.
I'm just tired of this life. I'm ready for something better. I know that all of these words coming out through my fingertips are a product of my brain. Not even MY brain, but the disorder that makes its home in my brain. When my levels aren't low, things are good. Even now, things are mostly good. My depression is slightly hormonal, but it's also largely situational. And sure, the fact that I am bipolar created the situation that caused the depression, but it's a cycle that can be broken. I just have to try.
For example, today, after Richard called all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. I wanted to stop feeling. But instead Dana called and needed a jump. I truly believe that was a God thing. So I drove out to her house, jumped her truck, and then we got coffee. And that little thing was the start of what has been a very busy, semi productive day.
Sure, the house needs cleaning. And Joe is spending the night and wants me to make pie dough. I would love to, but I just don't have it in me. So maybe I finish the paper I'm writing, go to bed, and we make pie dough the next time he comes over. I'm sure he'll keep on loving me anyway.
your mom goes to college.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008 | Classifications:: Body Image, Family, School, StressWith any luck, after this week I won't. It's been stressful. I picked up my cap and gown today. I posed in the BASW picture with my class. I am almost done with all of my final projects. I just have to finish my paper for comparative policy and turn it in Friday, and then I have to finish my Interpersonal Violence in Society final and turn it in on Monday. I got an unpleasant email, and now I'm worried that all of my hard work is going to be sabotaged. I don't want to talk about it. I'm being dramatic. My Lithium levels are low, I'm feeling slightly manic, and I am so stressed out I constantly feel like crying. It's all too much. I'm close. I don't know. All I can do is what I can do, I guess.
We just had dinner, and I am fuller than full. Angela made tacos with TVP, and even Joe ate them, with tofutti "sour cream". I was so proud of him. Now he is on the floor playing with Jake, which is really comical. Jake keeps barking, and they're leaping at each other on the floor. Athena, Klondike, Angela and I watch from the couch in amusement.
I took a picture of myself today and was shocked at how fat I've gotten. No bueno.
What I really want to do is take a xanax and go to sleep. But Joe's older brother is taking a Greyhound up from California and he gets in a one am. I said I would pick him up. Joe is at the house with Angela and I, because he wants to surprise his brother.
I want pie dough.
Because that will help me lose weight.
So I've had a duh moment. I think the reason I'm having a hard time buckling down and finishing my projects, which you would think I would be dying to do, is because I'm terrified of graduation. I want to finish, and I want to graduate, and I do look forward to it in an abstract kind of way.... But to actually, concretely be finished with school? That makes it all so real. I'm officially going to be a grown up. Not a student. At least, not until grad school. But that's a ways away. I'm so procrastinating. I need to stop. But it will all get done eventually. I can't wait to go to the actual commencement. I kind of don't believe it's going to happen.
My friend Richard (who I am flying to Tennessee to visit) is a photographer, and for my graduation present he is letting me choose one of his pictures. He is going to have it matted and framed for me. I am very excited about that.
Gosh, I am a constant ball of tummy nerves!
Angela and I had "the talk" about where our relationship is headed, lol. Basically, after I get a job instead of moving out, I am going to stay here and just pay my half of the rent. I'm very happy with that choice.
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